Yael Geffen | CEO | Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty | mail me |
For years we’ve been advised to fake it until we make in business when what we actually should be focusing is simply being our most authentic selves which, in the long run, is far more sustainable than false confidence and it will always reap rewards at the end of the day.
We need to remember that it’s normal and it’s okay to be nervous and to feel insecure when we’re doing something new. You will gain experience and learn – and that’s what life is about.
I remember when I lived in New York and was the only female in management at the company I worked at, the guys would toss a football around at every meeting but they never thought to pass it to me. One day I asked them to include me and, although they were shocked, they obliged. This got me thinking about how hard I was trying to fit in and what it took from me to constantly try and be someone I wasn’t.
True confidence
I also started wondering how long one can actually sustain a charade and what it would achieve at the end of the day – and I wasn’t happy with any of the answers. I realised that true confidence comes from a place deep within, a place where we know we are enough, and we don’t need to prove it. And, yes, it is quite possible to be nervous and confident at the same time.
True confidence is also not egotistical, it is in fact very credible, which is why it will always work for you, no matter your workplace circumstances.
The Simmons University Institute for Inclusive Leadership’s 2021 Leadership Development Survey found that people who behaved authentically at work felt more confident, more deeply engaged, and happier. Furthermore, respondents also said that being authentic enabled them to build stronger co-worker relationships, and around half felt that authenticity made them ‘more able to do their best work’ in the office.
I believe that authenticity leads to success for three simple reasons:
- It helps you to stand out from the crowd – only you can be you.
- It’s easier to build genuine relationships and gain trust and you will therefore be working alongside people who want to see you succeed rather than those who will rejoice in your failures.
- It motivates you because you are able to embrace opportunities with true passion and overcome challenges more easily.
Now, more than ever before, a different leadership style is required and of all the options, authentic leadership will achieve the most success and reap the best rewards for all concerned.
Over and above the value of authenticity for people of all ages and from all walks of life is the fact that it’s no longer a choice, especially in business.
More than merely issuing instructions and planning strategies
The workplace has changed considerably in recent years and people are no longer happy just being told what to do; they want to be fully engaged and feel as if their contribution matters. They want to be acknowledged for their work and they want to believe in those who lead them.
However, in order to meet these higher expectations, leaders have to actually be able to do more than merely issue instructions and plan strategies. They must also be able to inspire passion, teamwork, loyalty, trust and confidence and this requires a much more authentic leadership style.
That said, becoming an authentic leader is not always easy because it requires leaders to be genuine, self-aware, and transparent which takes considerable self-reflection as well as the conviction and courage to always strive do the right thing.
But, like anything else, once you’ve got the hang of doing something, it becomes easier and once I started to see the results of my efforts, it quickly became clear that there is no other way to lead that is quite as effective.
What authentic leadership is not
When authentic leaders demonstrate relational transparency, people always know where they stand which allows for better decisions, better productivity and less time wasted on sorting out problems, many of which are usually avoidable and unnecessary.
However, being your true self is not a licence to behave badly or unprofessionally and the following will always be counterintuitive:
- Being our true selves regardless of consequence – temper tantrums and snide remarks will not earn respect;
- Intimidating or taking advantage of people for personal gain;
- Being completely transparent about everything in your life – your employees don’t need to hear all your personal drama;
- Becoming too focused on your own needs and wants and pretending that you care for others.
It’s also not ‘humble bragging’ or virtual signalling – if you’ve earned it, you deserve it. And it’s not self-inflation – there is a vast difference between self-inflation and self-promotion.
Accepting awards and nominations for accolades, being on panels and speaking at events aren’t self-inflation – they are a useful self-promotion tool for helping you to work towards authentic leadership and establish credibility and gravitas.
In conclusion
Putting yourself out there is also about building your personal brand and, at the end of the day, you are inspiring not only your team but also others to be the very best that they can be, the latter being my primary motivation to accept an invitation to speak on TEDx.
And remember, if you are new at something but believe you can do it, then it’s about having confidence and improvising – not faking – until you’ve got a handle on your new situation and know the ropes. Improvising is perfect but faking is about deception and then no-one wins.
At the end of the day, authenticity is a leadership skill like any other and one that can be developed over time. But it’s a critical skill if your aim is to lead your team as well as they deserve and in the manner that you, yourself, would like to be led.
